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Monkees Movie Ideas

March 31, 2011 by  
Filed under romps

Hey Rhino! Free Movie Ideas!

Well, I thought I’d take mouse in hand and scrawl some thoughts
about a possible idea for The Monkees Moovee. The reason, or one
of the other ideas, is if they put out one that blows, I’ll have
the satisfaction of saying, “Well, you should’ve listened!”
(Unless of course they follow my suggestions and it blows anyway.
Why do you think I don’t use my “real” name here!?)


Movie trailers give away way too much today. Trailers and TV
ads, talk show clips, etc. are notorious for giving away plot
points, tipping jokes and ruining surprises.

Here’s my solution. I’m presenting this before my film idea – as
would be the case in “real life”.

Black screen – Loud, quick drum roll (military style) plays as
Distributor’s logo comes on screen (Paramount or the like).
Quickly fades out as echo dies off.

Flurry of quick, action oriented edits go by (no sign of the
Monkees) Voice over (preferably James Earl Jones): “From another
time comes an evil presence…”

Black screen – Loud, quick drum roll plays as Producer’s name
comes on screen. Quickly fades out as echo dies off.

Flurry of quick, action oriented edits go by (still no sign of
the Monkees) Voice over: “A sinister being – bent on destroying
the Earth…” Shot of villain screaming maniacally and smashing
something with fist: “I will have my REVENGE!!”

Black screen – Loud, quick drum roll plays as Director’s name
comes on screen. Quickly fades out as echo dies off.

Flurry of quick, action oriented edits go by (still no sign of
the Monkees) Voice over: “And the only ones who can stop it…
are out of the past…”

Black screen – Loud, quick drum roll plays again. Then singing
starts: “Here we come…” On “come” The Monkees logo zooms out of
the darkness, with “Save The World” below it. The Monkees theme
plays, when drum part kicks in, fast editing also kicks in, this
time with shots of the Monkees included, Monkee romps, concert
shots, etc. Theme is changed so ending is: “Some of you better
get ready, our movie’s comin’ to your town!” On final extended
chords, obligatory credits and opening dates appear.

The Monkees Save The World

Although some of this is pretty well hammered out, it’s basically
just a concept (I don’t have enough time to type out a whole
screenplay, fer cryin’ out loud!)

There will be lots of cameos throughout.

Movie starts out EXACTLY as in Head, from the opening shot of the
ribbon to where the Mayor is about to cut it. The difference
being that it has all been re-shot with new actors and is played
up more. Possibilities: Steve Martin as the police chief
(picture his impatience with the Mayor), James Earl Jones as the
Mayor, etc. Also, Police chief kicks mic stand around like James
Brown instead of just rapping on it. Just as the Mayor is about
to cut the ribbon, cut to a long shot of the bridge as it blows
up and collapses. Cut back to the soot-covered Mayor who throws
the scissors to the ground and yells, “I quit!”

Movie theme starts (something that rocks, big time). Credits are
shown over other “terrorist” acts that are annoying, but cause no
real harm – ice rinks melting and people are left knee deep in
water, soft drink machines that squirt people in the face, guy
surfing a mud-slide, someone opens a package from “Bowling ball
of the month club” and the ball is a cube, etc., etc.

As theme fades and opening credits end, truck in from above to
LAPD Headquarters.

Cross dissolve to interior where police are busily trying to keep
up with ringing phones and complaints. Various cameos in
background (Adam West, Burt Ward, Russell Johnson, Bob Denver,
other 60’s icons). The Chief of Detectives (maybe Tom Arnold)
demands to know who is committing all of these acts. He is
approached by a uniformed cop who says he has a videotaped
message from the terrorist (a cloaked figure hard to see):

“I will exact my revenge upon the city for my imprisonment!
Unless my demands are met, oooh are YOU gonna get it!”

The chief asks who it is. It turns out to be someone who calls
himself “The Evil Wizard Glick”. Dead silence in the room for a
second. Everyone just shrugs and mayhem returns to normal. The
chief inquires further, it turns out Glick was defeated 30 years
ago and just got out of prison and is hopping mad. The chief
asks who captured him the first time, and an older cop (another
cameo here) replies “The Monkees”. “Monkeys?” asks the chief.
“No. Monkees. With two ‘E’s”, says the cop. “They were a rock
band who lived at the beach. I think we have a file on them here
somewhere.” Blows thick cloud of dust off of an old file
cabinet. Rummages through the files for a moment. The chief
asks, “Where are they now?”

The older cop pulls out a folder with “Monkeys” on it. “Y” has
been crossed out and “E” scribbled next to it. The cop pulls out
60’s B&W photos of each, one at a time and does a narrative over

Cop: “Davy Jones was the resident teen heart throb of the group.
I would suppose he’s probably a rich recluse by now. Living on
his own private tropical island with a bevy of beautiful
babes…” Close up on palm leaves. Move past to see it’s just a
potted plant in the interior of a massive office building. Move
past cubicles to a water cooler with three gorgeous women at it.
Up walks Davy, kind of hunched over, dressed as the
quintessential computer geek, complete with taped up glasses. In
a whiny, grating voice he says, “Hello girlssss. Wanna come over
to my place and de-bug some code tonight? Ewwwww…..” (wiping
his nose on his sleeve). The women laugh at him and walk off.
He shrugs and scuffles away.

Cop: “Micky Dolenz was the scatter brain of the group. Probably
wound up in the loony bin. A totally irresponsible weight around
the neck of society.” Stark white interior of a Hospital. Move
down hallway through doors into an operating room. Beeping of
EKG in background, people in green garb milling about. Far wall
is covered with CAT scans of a brain. Surgeon turns to face
camera – it’s Micky. Micky: “Are we ready to begin?” Nurse:
“Yes Doctor.” Micky: “Sure beats playing drums…”

Cop: “Mike Nesmith was the quiet, reserved one of the group.
Probably be impossible to find someone as unassuming as that.
Would just vanish right into society without a trace.” Extreme
close up of mouth yelling, “I CAN’T HEEEEAAAARRRR YOU,
MAGGOTS!!!!” Cut back to reveal that it’s Mike the Drill
Sergeant, putting a group of recruits through torturous obstacle
courses and having them yell out a marching song which would be a
reworked version of “Ditty Diego” that applies to boot camp.
Mike’s barking orders at them constantly as they go through an
impossible and comical set of obstacles (abandoned cars,
Christmas shoppers, etc.).

Cop: “Peter Tork was the idiot of the bunch. It’s amazing his
brain could generate enough energy to keep him breathing.
Probably living out on the streets somewhere.” Cut to exterior of
Harvard, MIT or similar. Cross dissolve to interior of massive
lecture hall. Prof. Tork is lecturing on Quantum Mechanics
effortlessly. He comments that he’s only filling in for Prof.
Hawking and that he’ll be back teaching his own Thermonuclear
Dynamics classes next week.

Back in the police station, the chief orders a young woman
detective (any suggestions?) to find The Monkees, and suggests to
her to start at their old beach house.

Cut to interior of the TV beach house. No furniture and there’s
dust everywhere. There’s a rattle of the door knob and the door
explodes inward as the detective rides a tidal wave of newspapers
through the doorway. She mutters: “They could have at least
canceled their subscriptions…” Finds a piece of paper which
says something about reporting to the “Fingerhead Military

Cut to exterior of Fingerhead Military Academy. Troops marching
about, etc. The detective goes to the main offices and asks to
see the Commander (the secretary would be a cameo). Walks into
the office, the Commander turns around, and it’s Bill Murray.
(Insert hysterically funny dialog here) Points out window to Nez,
who’s still barking orders. The detective comes up to Mike and
asks him: “Were you one of the Monkeys?” Mike answers: “No.
Monkees. With two ‘E’s.”

Cut back and forth between close ups of detective and Mike, who
keeps bobbing up and down, in and out of the frame. They discuss
Glick and the whereabouts of the others. Pull back to reveal
Mike standing on the back of a private who is doing push-ups.
Detective asks, “Isn’t that tiring?” Mike: “You’re right.
Corporal…” (steps down, motions off camera) “Take over here!”
Abraham Benrubi (or similar) stomps in. Camera follows Mike and
the detective away as you hear a loud CRUNCH from off screen.

Mike mentions he knows where Micky is, and simply says, “Let’s
go.” They begin to walk out the front gate and the detective is
puzzled. She says, “You… you just can’t leave! You’ll be
AWOL! They’ll court martial you!” Mike (shrugging): “It’s only
a movie.” Cut to long shot of them walking away from the Academy
which has lighting and camera crews, trailers, etc. all around.

Cut to operating room. Close up on Micky as he’s obviously
concentrating on very delicate surgery. Mike walks in with
detective and says, “Hi Mick!” Micky is startled and jumps a
little. You hear “OW!” from the guy on the table. EKG beeps
wildly. Micky: “I’m a little busy Mike…” Mike explains about
The Evil Wizard Glick and Micky says, “Okay. Let’s go.” Pulls
off gloves and mask. EKG beeps fast then goes flatline as they
begin to walk out, much to the horrified detective’s look of
disbelief. She says, “You.. you just can’t leave!” Micky: “Why
not?” Mike: “It’s only a movie.” Cut to wide down shot of
operating room set, cameras, “patient” sitting up in bed lighting
a cigarette. As they leave you hear Micky remark that he knows
where Davy is.

Cut to interior of Davy’s dressing room. He’s removing his
glasses, nerd make up and wig (the joke’s been tipped by now).
Micky and Mike walk in, fill in Davy and they all walk towards
the door. They get to the detective, stop and look at her for a
second, then they all turn to the camera and in unison say,
“Well, it is only movie.” She shrugs and follows them out.

Cut to University we saw before. Peter’s wrapping up his lecture
as the others walk in. They fill him in. Peter says, “Hey guys,
I’m in the middle of teaching here.” Mike says, “C’mon Pete,
it’s only…” Pull back to reveal it actually is a lecture hall.
The five of them look around. Close up on Mike) “…never mind.”
Pete tries to explain that his responsibilities are too much for
him to go off on some adventure. Mike and Micky look at each
other, then grab Peter by the arms and drag him out backwards.
He yells assignments to his students and also that he won’t be
able to have office hours next week.

>From this point on, the movie would be a combination of original
scenes along with a series of parodies of other films from Die
Hard (Micky swinging on a fire hose towards a window, but smacks
flat against it and slides out of sight instead of breaking
through) to Star Trek (with them as the Next Gen. crew on the
bridge, falling back and forth as the camera shakes) and
everything in between. The TV series used to “switch realities”
like this, as films like “Airplane” and “Hot Shots” have recently
done. Parodies of cliches would work well too. e.g.: during a
chase sequence, have the cars go through ten or twelve fruit
carts in a row (or panes of glass being carried across the
street, or both). The first couple they would react to, but after
that they would be bored by them.

There would be a couple of Monkee romps set to new music, as well
as a ballad over a “romantic” scene (probably w/Davy and the

The other three Monkees could each make passes at the detective,
who would be completely disinterested. Of course, other women
would always be throwing themselves at Davy too, even being
dragged along as they cling to his leg, getting in the way of the

The detective turns out to be Glick’s evil assistant. Glick
should be played by a character actor who does great “over the
top” maniacs (Martin Landau has the best evil smile in the

At some point Glick captures them all and ties them up on some
evil, silly James Bondian type device to kill them. He asks,
“You’d like me to tell you my plan… wouldn’t you!” They all
shake their heads ‘no’ and say, “Not really…” Glick: “Yes you
do!” Monkees (completely disinterested): “No… really.” Glick
(fed up): “Well I’m going to tell you anyway!” As he does,
they’re falling asleep, doing “cat’s cradle” etc. (WARNING: PLOT
HOLE – There is no central threat yet!)

Of course our heroes escape and Blow up Glick’s evil device and
Glick with it. The “detective” is captured. Mike, Micky and
Peter are covered with soot and debris. Davy walks out, perfect,
dusting his shoulder off with a little whisk broom. The others
(flabbergasted): “But… how…” Davy: “I have better writers!”
Micky: “So that’s why he gets all the girls!”

Cut to exterior of a concert venue. Screaming fans are lined up
on either side as The Monkees run up the red carpet into the
theater. Cut to the interior where the lights on the stage come
up and The Monkees play a live number. During this is a montage
of them getting keys to the city, then the state, then the U.S.,
then Earth, then the Milky Way (delivered by friendly football
headed aliens), all accompanied by “spinning newspaper
headlines”. As the song ends and the screen goes black, you hear
Glick laughing maniacally.

Roll credits over end music – maybe a “Monkee Rap”. “Hey Hey”
from the TV theme is scratched, loud drum beat, then you hear
Peter yell, “Yeeeeeeaaaaaaa Boooooooyyyyy!” Mike does the
rappin’. In the middle of the rap, you hear a banjo solo, Micky
says, “What was that?” Peter: “A banjo! Everybody loves a
banjo!” Mike: “Excuse me, I’m tryin’ to rap here…”


Well, I’m tired of typing, which is just as well since you’re
probably tired of reading. But I got inspired, I guess, and
wrote all of this very rapidly, and thought I should put it to
paper before I forgot it all.

Feel free to add to it. Maybe Rhino’s listening somewhere out


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